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When something doesn’t work out as planned how do you typically react? I am willing to bet that you experience a whole range of emotions and typically wind up at the low end of them. I know because it’s what my go-to reaction used to be.

When you’re down your negative self-talk kicks into high gear, fueling your ego’s twisted version of reality as it’s been badly bruised by something not working out. This is the perfect storm for all the lies to start swarming around in your head.

I am unworthy.

I am unimportant.

I am unlovable.

I am unwanted.


You are every beautiful thing you knew and believed yourself to be before things spiraled downhill—before the project fell apart, before the relationship ended—and that should not change just because of a particular set of circumstances.

Acknowledge that you are buying into a false truth laden with detrimental lies.

When you feel yourself spinning into a cycle of negative self-talk and self-doubt, this is when you need to take some time to jot down what it is that you are saying to yourself. Be aware of the lies that you have allowed to creep in so that you can dissolve them.

Counter each lie with YOUR truth.

For each lie that you identify, counter it with its truth and recall moments that support it.

For example, your lie may be, “I am unimportant.”

Your counter would then be, “I am important.”

Then support your truth by listing moments in your life when that truth occurred. An example may be, “My daughter told me how much it meant that I made it to her recital,” or “I helped my friend through her divorce when everyone else seemed to turn their backs on her.”

Record everything you recall. This will be your book of truth that you will want to refer to when life throws you a few more curve balls, which it inevitably will. When you are down, it is so much easier to focus on the negative. By focusing on the positive instead you will help to restore a healthy belief in yourself.

And remember, you are worthy, you are important, you are lovable and you are wanted.