Time really does fly by. It is hard to believe that it has been two years since I walked away from my last long-term relationship of nearly 11 years. And two years later, I am still single.
I have come a long way from my serial monogamy tendencies and am thankful to have finally retired from that lifestyle. Jumping from relationship to relationship with no time in between to breathe, collect my thoughts and ready myself for the next man left scars that have finally begun to heal.
These last two years have been very valuable. I have had quiet time to reflect on the lessons buried in the heartache. I have had free time to pursue interests, write a book and start a business. I have had space to listen to my intuition and nurture it. Most importantly, I have learned to become more comfortable with spending time alone and I actually like me (most of the time). I have become a better best friend to ME.
I have broken the cycle of feeling like I need a man in my life and have come to a place in which I want to have a man in my life, but not just any man for the sake of having a man. I now know I need so much more than what I was receiving in my previous relationships and will not settle just to share my life with someone. I’ve set the bar higher and the next man must be an amazing one who complements the amazing woman I have become.
This is not to say that I don’t have my moments of struggle in being single. As much as I appreciate my freedom and being able to do what I want when I want, I miss the great things about a relationship. I miss the affection, engaging conversations and intimate connection. I miss how having a partner can enhance and enrich new experiences. I miss belly-aching laughs and witty banter with a man who I’m crazy about. I know that when the timing is right for both of us, that is when we will meet.
If you find yourself single and struggling, know that this is a much needed time for self-reflection, healing and discovery. Embrace this time as an opportunity to get to know you better and kick the bad habits you may have been carrying with you throughout your previous relationships. Acknowledge that this is precious time for you to heal your wounds so that you don’t taint the next relationship.
I hope you can come to see the blessings in being single—the importance of taking this time to make YOU a priority, and come to really love and nurture you. Amazing things will happen during this time. I promise.