Ever notice how we are quick to congratulate ourselves on the choices we make that lead us to a favorable outcome, and are even willing to take full responsibility for them. But flip the coin for the exact opposite outcome—a less favorable one—based on the exact same choices, and we feel we have been wronged. We seek to push the responsibility onto external factors, asking ourselves: How could this happen to me? Why am I being punished? But the truth is you chose your way to it.

What if instead, we were to begin to ask ourselves how our choices led us to where we are so we can learn and forge a new path? So we can gather the lessons and make better choices moving forward? So we can build our resilience and empower ourselves to know that we can make different choices? Why not look at the less desirable outcome as the guidance needed to help us course correct so that we will actually head in the right direction because the choices we were making were leading us down he wrong path?

Empowerment, growth, strength and resilience are about knowing that we choose our way through life. The power to make decisions resides within each of us.

That bad relationship. Were there red flags you ignored? Did you choose to settle? Did you choose complacency because you didn’t want to deal with change?

That dead end job. Did you choose familiarity over the unknown? Did you choose money in exchange for freedom? Did you choose to allow your fears to win?

Your choices led you to where you are. You didn’t just happen to walk into the situation you are currently in. Sure, the outcome may not be your choice. You may have felt you were moving in the right direction. You may have believed you were making the right choices. But ultimately it is YOUR choices that led you to where you currently are.

So start asking yourself how you chose your way into your current situation. This allows you to be in the driver’s seat of your life. Know that you have the power to make different choices. You have the power to chart a new course. You have the power to change.